Our Children need Active Fathers
When I began researching the information for this article, I felt some type of way because I was fortunate to have a father in my life. For me, he was the quintessential man. He was a gentleman with a great deal of charisma and a wonderful provider for his family. He also told me that the way a father respect, love, and treat his daughter is the same way a man should respect, love, treat and you. I will never forget those words because they still have a great deal of substance in my life today. However, I will attempt to differentiate the biological perspective of a “boy and a girl” when it comes to fatherhood. Being an active father in your son’s life should never be considered a chore, but a privilege to be that special person who helps to mold and raise him. Although, some might say “I don’t need a father in my life, I have my mother”!. That may be true to some extent, but most boys yearn to have that strong physical presence of a father in their life. However, the needs are different when it comes to a boy or a girl because a woman cannot teach a boy how to become a man, but I give women props for doing the very best they can.
You see, when a man has a constant presence in his son’s life the bond that they have created is everlasting. He is there to talk about sex, peer problems, taking his son fishing, or just being a father and watching his son hit that jumper at his basketball game. Those are relevant moments that only a father and son share. But, for the love of God! I just don’t understand why it is so easy for a father to walk away from that child life. “To me, that is a real coward move”. Just because you are angry with the mother does not give you the right to make that child pay the price for two parents who complex issues have nothing to do with them. It is time for fathers to pull up their pants and be a constant factor and stop letting women continue to take on the role of a man. Be accountable and take control of what you need to do to be a parent. However, ladies depending on the situation we need to get out of our own way. If the child father is interested in spending time with his son, then be supportive for that child and let’s learn to be grown and mature about matters that can cause your child to resent you later on in life.
Nonetheless, a girls perspective when it comes to the love of her father is emotionally different. From the time she laid her head on his shoulder until her first father and daughter dance, girls are very impressionable. They have and share a special type of love that only a father and daughter can have. In her eyes, he is the Superman of her trust and the Kryptonite of her disappointments. As a father, it is his duty as a man to school her on what is truly going on in the world. It is important to make her aware that there are two types of men. We have a man who smokes weed all day in front of his children, walk around with funky draws on, and hang out with his boys while she goes to work and support her family. Then you have a man who provides and respect his family and understands being a father is not an obligation but a choice to be committed, unconditionally. Therefore, his representation of manhood has set high standards for the next man to come into her life. She will then be secure with herself because her self-esteem will always enable her to stand firm in who she is and what she wants out of a man.
Written by: Deborah Ford