As adults we’ve learned; or most of us have learned that our voice is everything. By now we know to say what we mean and to mean what we say, but most importantly, how we feel is of great importance. Words like “Speak your mind!”, “Express yourself!”, and “Say that, girl” are encouraged for adults. Yet we tell our children just the opposite: “Stay in a child’s place,” “Don’t question me,” and “Be quiet!!” It took us sometime to realize how important our voices are, so let’s teach our kids the importance of their voices now.
The life of a kid is not as simple as one may think. Now a days they are faced with some tough obstacles that even us adults haven’t yet faced. It is extremely important that our kids know that their voices are important. If we shut them down every time they speak up, they won’t speak up when it matters the most. Us parents sometimes are prideful and have awaited the moment that we get to tell our kids, “because I said so.” But sadly that doesn’t work anymore. I’m so sorry parents, although we had to endure it, our kids are a little brighter and much more curious. They want to know that big word, WHY? And that great answer you’ve been waiting all these years to hit em with, DOES NOT WORK! “Because I said so!” These kids really want to know why and they are not being disrespectful. They just want to know why. Although it feels like a big ole loss for us, it’s actually a win. When we effectively communicate with our children it equips them with the tools to communicate effectively with the world.
In Walmart this week I watched as this little girl curiously asked her mom what the words on a magazine read. The mom constantly hushed the little girl disregarding her inquisitive mind. The girl didn’t let up, she continued to ask and ask, “mommy what does this say?” To no avail the mom continued to hush the little girl. I wanted to intervene and just read the words aloud to the girl; but I didn’t, in fear of overstepping. Thinking to myself it’s the little things such as this that builds confidence in our kids. Think about it, most kids are not fearful of anything. If they don’t know something they ask. But we adults introduce insecurity when we don’t allow them to ask questions because they eventually become fearful to ask. Looking back I wish I had just read the words to the little kid. I noticed that I sometimes do this to my kids. When they are interested in something and ask questions, I ask them to hush or quiet them. Not realizing that just answering the question may be best. Kids are very inquisitive. They wanna know things. It is our job to teach and show them those things and more. Most importantly when we hush our kids we give them a sense of insecurity. If they can’t express themselves with us, they start to be afraid to express themselves with others. Instead of asking necessary questions, they don’t in fear of being shut down. Allow kids the privilege to ask questions, don’t be so quick to quiet them. When they ask why, tell them why you feel the way you do. Their voices are delicate yet strong. Who are we to silence them?
Written by: Lynyadia Prosper
IV GREY BLOG
Article Sponsored By: Black Girls with MICS